The Voice

A bully is generally defined as a person who is habitually cruel to others who are weaker.  Unfortunately, kids of all ages are exposed to this type of behavior.  Bullying can start as the most simple of actions, from a sting in the lunch room or playground that can paint a child as a weaker person.   However, it can become as serious as continued physical and emotional abuse.  There is no limit to the damage a bully can cause another child.  In this day of technology, there can be no reprieve from a bully, and a child can be reached on the bus, school ground and even in the comfort of their own home.  Where and when does it end? 

We offer this one approach to try and end it before it before it can even begin.  As  parents and caregivers, we cannot control the actions of other children.  What we can do, is teach our children to be strong and listen to the voice inside of them.  To speak up when they know something is not right, takes the weaker person out the definition.  As parents and caregivers , we know how frightening it can be to send children out into the world and let them stand on their own two feet.  It is difficult in the best of situations, let alone when we know there is someone being unkind.  However, no matter the circumstances, we still need to teach our children to be confident on their own, because frightening or not, we cannot be there every step of the way.  One of the few things worse than knowing someone is being mean to a child you love, is knowing they have no idea how to defend themselves, or worse yet, thinking he/she is not worth defending. The best way  to stand up for children is to teach them how and, and why to stand up for themselves.

What is an inner voice?  Well, to use the words of children's author Shel Silverstein...

“The Voice

There is a voice inside of you

That whispers all day long,

"I feel this is right for me,

I know that this is wrong."

No teacher, preacher, parent, friend

Or wise man can decide

What's right for you--just listen to

The voice that speaks inside.”

Here are three suggestions from TPNN for parents and caregivers to help teach children to hear and listen to their inner voice:

1. Communicate with your children.  Talk with your child about what happens during their days at school. Ask your children about bullying? Opening up the conversation with your child will let them know you are supportive and that what they have to say is important. 
2. Lead by example.  Check behavior at home and demonstrate respect for all people.  Children will follow the behavior patterns of parents and caregivers, and will show and demand the same respect they see at home.
3. Teach your child compassion, caring and confidence.  And if or when the time comes, you will support them.  Teach your child to come to you when they need help.

Has your family, or someone you know been impacted by a bully?  Share your story here and maybe help another family or child overcome their battle.

The Summer Slide

Can you believe summer is almost done? School will be here sooner than we know it because once again the summer has gone way too fast!  As we prepare our little ones to head back to the classroom in September, have you found that certain skills that were mastered by your children in June have begun to deteriorate? In other words, has the “summer slide” has found its way into your house?

The “summer slide” is described as the loss in learning that occurs when students are not engaged in scholastic, academically enriching activities for a prolonged period.  By the end of summer vacation, the average student loses approximately a month’s worth of learning acquired from the previous year.  And it doesn’t end there, as studies have shown the impact is cumulative. A 2007 Johns Hopkins University study found that by ninth grade, about two-thirds of the achievement gap in reading, for example, can be attributed to summer learning loss that took place in the first five years of schooling.

Nationally, there are approaches being discussed to prevent learning loss over the summer months.  However, as parents and caregivers what can we do here and now to help our children?  Today The Philadelphia Nanny Network wanted to share some ideas to help spark some creativity as we get ready for Back to School. Here are just a few ideas to get the creative juices flowing and help make summer fun also equal summer learning.  There are still precious few summer days left, here are some ideas that both parents and nannies can work on together to make the most of them:

1.       Build a family game – game building is a very creative approach to science and math.  This is a great way to develop problem-solving skills while allowing children to be innovative.  Nannies can help the children work on a plan for the game, research and get supplies.  The children and nanny can build the game together.  After nanny hours, parents and children can play the game together, and the children get to “teach” the parents how to play.

2.       Find a reading program at the local library or bookstore that can fit into the children and nanny’s daily schedule.  Visit http://www.readwritethink.org/parent-afterschool-resources/ for additional resources on summer reading that can be carried into the new school year.  Parents can ask the child about the “rose” (best) and “thorn” (worst) part of the trip and read a library book before bed.

3.       Do a project together as a family.  Summer is the perfect time to complete DIY projects around the house.  Assign each family member an age appropriate job to research and complete.  Nannies can help the children plan budgets (math), plan out measurements (math and science), colors (problem solving) and so much more.  Projects can be incorporated into a fun family project to be enjoyed throughout the year.  With parents, the children can complete the project.  Each new day, the children can give a status update to the nanny and show off the work that was done.

It takes a village, and these are just a few ways that parents and nannies can work together so that children are ready to hit the books when school starts.

Is your child ready for the upcoming school year?  If so, what did your family network do to keep the “summer slide” out of your home and in the back yard where it belongs?

Can Women Have It All?

These past few weeks, the internet has been abuzz discussing “the working mom”, as though it’s a new concept. And while the concept has existed for decades upon decades, the strong opinions surrounding the Mommy-Wars are as fresh as ever. Thanks to Anne-Marie Slaughter’s anything-but-brief article, entitled “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All”, feminist ideas are coming under fire and maternal guilt is on the rise. Slaughter argues that, as the title suggests, women cannot have both a successful career and a successful family life. It comes down to a choice: either your career or your family can flourish, but not both. She notes that many successful career women, now in their 50s and 60s, have had to sacrifice time with their children and spouses to push against the glass ceiling; while women in their 30s and twenty-somethings are hesitant to begin a professional career because they someday want a family and have already come to the realization that they will never be able to have both. Naturally, her opinions received some opposition including many response articles. One of which, written by Jacoba Urist for Forbes Magazine, unveils the very solution to creating a manageable work-life balance. A solution that The Philadelphia Nanny Network, Inc. has been long aware of-

A really good nanny.

Urist discusses a novel idea that maybe women CAN have it all, if they just spread “it all” throughout the day. Between 6p and 8a, a woman can be a mother and raise a loving and successful family. Then from 8a-6p, she can be a lawyer, a writer or whatever her professional calling may be. And she can do all this by finding a nanny that is the right fit, an extension of her family and someone she can trust to raise her children while she is in her other role. As Urist states, “The key to a stronger family unit isn’t trying to juggle parenting and being something else. It’s about letting go and trusting the person or people who raise and educate your kids while you’re not around— and believing that your bonds with your child are strong enough to withstand your workday.”

What makes a parent?

The nuclear family. Even the expression seems somewhat dated in 2012. These days many people believe a mom, a dad and 2.5 children isn’t necessarily required to create a happy and loving environment where children can thrive.

Now a days families come in all shapes and forms: single parents; two mom households; two dad households; single parents and another relative or grandparent. This list could go on and on but legally speaking, there is one restriction, a child may have only 2 legal parents. This legality then excludes many other kinds of families such as two parents and grandparents or additional relatives all raising a child together; same sex parents plus an additional biological parent; biological parents plus a surrogate or donor; blended families and more. Shouldn’t all of these individuals have legal rights when it comes to the children they are raising? California State Senator Mark Leno and legislation SB 1476 believe they absolutely should!

This new legislation, State Bill 1476, has been proposed by San Francisco Democrat Mark Leno. The bill has passed the senate in California and is now in assembly. It would allow three or more individuals to legally act as a child’s parents, in family structures where it would be applicable. The bill does not expand the definition of who can be a parent, just expands the number of those individuals beyond two.

As could be expected, the reaction to this legislation has been large and loud. But what has been somewhat surprising is that the logical backlash—concerned mainly with legislative and judiciary ripples this bill may cause—has greatly surpassed the social backlash. The Association of Certified Family Law Specialists note tax deductions, citizenship, probate, public assistance, school notifications and Social Security rights are all affected by legal status of parenthood. The group’s president, Diane Wasznicky, mentioned that changes in the aforementioned programs are only some of many unintended consequences they fear may arise. The California Protective Parents Association brings forth the additional concern that children may be forced to bounce between any number of multiple homes as a result of custody battles. However, Attorney Catherine Sakimura of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, an organization co-sponsoring SB 1476, notes that, under the bill, judges must consider child stability when awarding custody and visitation.

All things considered, the question that should fuel the decision in the assembly becomes what are the benefits of SB 1476? And do they outweigh any possible negative effects? What do you think? Will SB 1476 help to redefine family structures and bring custody issues into the modern ages; or will it confuse the already muddy topic of who has rights and responsibilities when it comes to raising a child in today’s society? Additionally, is it something necessary in society, certainly one can act as a parent and influencer in a child’s life without documentation that they have taken on such a role. Is this issue important in promoting acceptance of the growing number of family types? Regardless of the outcome of SB 1476, we all can be certain that it takes a village to raise a child and the child’s influencers and caregivers often include parents, grandparents, other relatives, close friends, teachers, coaches and of course, nannies!

The Kid-Friendly Facebook—Can it exist?

With many (approximately 7.5 million) children under the age of 13 already creating Facebook accounts, by falsifying their age, perhaps it seems remiss of the now-public corporation to not take advantage of this market. By doing more to cater to this already engaged audience, Facebook can increase their profits in targeted ad revenue AND help control settings to create a safer social environment. At least that is the solution they’re presenting. Facebook knows that ignoring the problem won’t make it go away. The question seems to be, is this the best way to handle it?

The newly planned structure, which has not been officially confirmed, will allow children under the age of 13 to create and use Facebook accounts, but they must be hosted under a parent account. The parent account will have control of who their child can become friends with, what applications the child can use and what information, if any, is made public. Additionally, parents can see anything their child has posted, sent or received—including private messages. While this may sound like a cautious solution to an admittedly existent problem, it is also freely opening the doors of the world of social media to an audience that may not be ready to handle it. It is estimated that the under 13 user base would increase the number of Facebook users to 900 million, if this program is implemented. However, the question still remains, how effective will it be? Today, among the parents that are aware their preteen has a Facebook account, only 18% have requested their child as a friend. If such a simple step to monitor their children is not being taken, will parents have any interest in these additional monitoring tools and controls?

Though Facebook has yet to acknowledge the details, the supporters and cynics have already taken sides, all of which seem to be focused around safety. Among the supporters, parents and caregivers that feel this will create a safe place within social media where their child(ren) can be connected while still being protected. While those who don’t support the plan claim there is no place in social media for preteens. These parents and caregivers are concerned that even with monitoring, the internet may not be a safe place for kids. Of course, there are other groups just demanding details. In fact, two US Senators, Democrat Markey and Republican Barton, have crafted a quite lengthy (14 paragraphs!) letter to Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, full of questions about these preteen accounts and their protections.

What do you think about the change in age restrictions? Will these preteen accounts act as an alternative to ignoring the current age restriction and keep kids safe on Facebook? Would you force the preteen in your care to have a “preteen account” or bend the rules and stick with the 13 and over crowd? In our opinion, it all boils down to the issue of online safety that must be discussed with children and constantly monitored by parents, caregivers and internet moguls alike.

How Do You Discipline a Child?

The debate on how to best discipline a child is one marked with longevity and controversy. And lately, it’s been making headlines left and right. 

The most recent trend in disciplining has been the use of humiliation tactics. Parents are exposing children to humiliation by mandating very public admissions of wrong doings; most popularly, forcing their kids to wear signs. This creative form of punishment has been receiving a significant amount of attention from the media.

Recent sign spottings include:

“I was sent to school to get an education. Not to be a bully… I was not raised this way!”

“I like to steal from others and lie about it!!”

“I am a thief. I took money from a family member.”

Humiliation, it turns out, is a highly controversial form of punishment. While the public outcry of support for this type of punishment has been overwhelming, opponents include most childcare experts. Respected author, Alfie Kohn, has suggested this is a disrespectful way to treat any human, regardless of age, and sends children the message that parents are not to be trusted.

But this latest trend is not the only form of child disciplining that people don’t agree on. For example, spanking is always a source of debate.

Last June, spanking received massive media coverage when a Texas woman was arrested for spanking her two year old daughter. She was fined and sentenced to five years probation and mandatory parenting classes. What’s more, her three children were temporarily removed from her custody. Judge Longoria, who presided in the case, explained, “You don’t spank children today, in the old days, maybe we got spanked, but there was a different quarrel. You don’t spank children. You understand?”

This case sparked outrage and, somewhat surprisingly, Judge Longoria’s decision has received little public support. Many cite that spanking, not resulting in injury, is legal in the state of Texas. The few defending the judge’s ruling have suggested that the law is dated and needs to be readdressed.

Such strong support and strong opposition of two very different forms of discipline leads to the assumption that there is no “right answer”. Or at least, the right answer has not been discovered and defined. Certainly, everyone has their idea of the right way to discipline a child so they will feel loved and also grow into a caring, responsible and successful adult. Is it the place of the government or police to define how parents discipline their child?

A Good Sitter Is Hard To Find

The babysitter crisis is in full swing according to a survey conducted by the American Red Cross and many local parents interviewed by 3 CBS Philly. The survey, conducted over the last 24 months, found that parents seek responsible babysitters with references. Upon hearing this, CBS came to the source—The Philadelphia Nanny Network, Inc., Philly’s oldest domestic staffing agency. Reporter Anne-Marie Green came to the agency, located in Ardmore, to interview founder and owner, Wendy Sachs, in hopes to tap into her expertise about what makes a good babysitter and how to find one. Click here to watch the news story!

According to the survey:

• 69% say good babysitters are hard to find
• 55% stayed home because they could not find a babysitter
• 30% rejected a babysitter because of safety concerns    

In order to find vetted, experienced childcare providers, visit www.nannyagency.com or call us 610-645-6550.