How Do You Discipline a Child?

The debate on how to best discipline a child is one marked with longevity and controversy. And lately, it’s been making headlines left and right. 

The most recent trend in disciplining has been the use of humiliation tactics. Parents are exposing children to humiliation by mandating very public admissions of wrong doings; most popularly, forcing their kids to wear signs. This creative form of punishment has been receiving a significant amount of attention from the media.

Recent sign spottings include:

“I was sent to school to get an education. Not to be a bully… I was not raised this way!”

“I like to steal from others and lie about it!!”

“I am a thief. I took money from a family member.”

Humiliation, it turns out, is a highly controversial form of punishment. While the public outcry of support for this type of punishment has been overwhelming, opponents include most childcare experts. Respected author, Alfie Kohn, has suggested this is a disrespectful way to treat any human, regardless of age, and sends children the message that parents are not to be trusted.

But this latest trend is not the only form of child disciplining that people don’t agree on. For example, spanking is always a source of debate.

Last June, spanking received massive media coverage when a Texas woman was arrested for spanking her two year old daughter. She was fined and sentenced to five years probation and mandatory parenting classes. What’s more, her three children were temporarily removed from her custody. Judge Longoria, who presided in the case, explained, “You don’t spank children today, in the old days, maybe we got spanked, but there was a different quarrel. You don’t spank children. You understand?”

This case sparked outrage and, somewhat surprisingly, Judge Longoria’s decision has received little public support. Many cite that spanking, not resulting in injury, is legal in the state of Texas. The few defending the judge’s ruling have suggested that the law is dated and needs to be readdressed.

Such strong support and strong opposition of two very different forms of discipline leads to the assumption that there is no “right answer”. Or at least, the right answer has not been discovered and defined. Certainly, everyone has their idea of the right way to discipline a child so they will feel loved and also grow into a caring, responsible and successful adult. Is it the place of the government or police to define how parents discipline their child?

In Your Own Words, What Is Autism?

That’s a question that most people probably can’t answer. And those who can will produce a myriad of different responses.

Why?

Because the term autism has morphed time and again throughout the years. It has been applied to the truly autistic but also the developmentally delayed and even those children who are just a little left of center. To confuse matters more, there are several “types” or “levels” of autism that doctors use to classify the level of the disease in their patients, the most common being Asperger’s disorder. Today, 1 in 88 children in the US are diagnosed as autistic, leading many to believe that autism is heavily over-diagnosed. As a result, a portion of the medical community is suggesting it’s time to redefine autism.

The proposed redefinition would eliminate classifications such as Asperger’s with all cases falling under the new “Autism Spectrum Disorder”. Children who are diagnosed will exhibit three types of communication problems and two limited, sometimes non-typical, interests or repetitive behaviors.

Both proponents and opponents of this redefinition have exceptionally strong opinions, as one would probably imagine. Opponents include some parents that are worried their children will lose treatment and other benefits and the “mildly” autistic who suffer from Asperger’s or PDD-NOS (Pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified) that do not want to be categorized by umbrella terminology. Proponents include many members of the medical community, including a panel of the American Psychiatric Association.

As a nanny or a parent, has a child you love been diagnosed with Autism? If so, does this emotional connection produce a strong opinion regarding the validity or benefits of the proposed redefinition? What are your thoughts? Will this be beneficial or detrimental to Autistic children?

No matter the outcome, in our opinion there is one glaring benefit of this proposed redefinition—a very important increase in Autism Awareness.

Arizona School Sends Students to the Scream Room

Nationwide reports are beginning to surface about Desert Sage Elementary School confining students to a 5x5 padded room as punishment for misbehavior. The scream room, as the Arizona school calls it, even features restraints for especially “difficult” children, including a 7-year-old with special needs. Thankfully, this second-grader was brave enough to share the story of his punishment with his parents.

The young boy described being “restrained” in the room and said he’s been kept in there anywhere from a few minutes to the majority of the day. He went into detail about being forced to eat lunch in the padded cell and not being allowed out to use the bathroom. The Deer Valley School District denies that this special-needs child has ever been detained in the room for an excess of 15 minutes, though they admit he’s received this punishment 17 times between October and February.

Many parents in the school district are outraged at this alternative form of discipline.

It goes without saying that putting a child in a padded room for mildly misbehaving is not the norm in schools. But the larger problem, in my opinion, is that many of the parents were unaware this room existed and was being utilized as a form of punishment; the rest were surprised to find it was more of a cell than a quiet place to cool off. If Desert Sage Elementary School truly thinks this is the most effective way to discipline a disruptive child, they should have presented it more openly to the parents. Another missing piece of the puzzle, I cannot seem to find an answer regarding the school district’s awareness (or lack thereof) of this practice. Were they kept in the dark, as well, and are now scrambling to save face by defending Desert Sage Elementary?

Regardless of whether this is an acceptable form of punishment or not, it is not acceptable for 7-year-olds to be punished in ways their parents have not been made aware of.

Nannies, It’s Cold Outside!

One week into December, and it’s a cold one here in Philly; especially compared to the spring-like November we enjoyed. With the cold weather upon us, we needed to get creative to find fun indoor activities to get the kids off the couch and away from the TV.  We scoured our favorite websites for some fun ideas that will keep your kids active and creative. Here are some of our best finds!

·         Tabletop Soccer

o   “An empty pizza box gets a sporty transformation into a tabletop soccer arena. No need for shin guards, as the kicking is all blown air and the ball is a puff of cotton.”

o   Visit http://tinyurl.com/7588b8y for full instructions, courtesy of Disney Family Fun

·         Tag-Team Drawings

o   The name speaks for itself! “This quick-paced game encourages group creativity. Players contribute to drawings begun by other family members, with often hilarious results.”

o   Visit http://tinyurl.com/7kofq8c for full instructions, courtesy of Disney Family Fun

·         Tornado in a Bottle

o   Learn about science and have fun by recreating the effects of a tornado with soda bottles

o   Visit http://tinyurl.com/d6ywtdz for full instructions, courtesy of Family Education

·         Flower Press

o   Create beautiful pressed flowers you can frame and enjoy with simple household items, such as coffee filters

o   Visit http://tinyurl.com/d46anz6 for full instructions, courtesy of Family Education

And don’t forget about the classics as well, such as freeze dance, limbo or building a fort.

Thank You, Nannies! (and Happy Holidays!)

Last night, The Philadelphia Nanny Network hosted our 2011 Holiday Get Together. It was so nice to see so many of our fabulous nannies. We were also thrilled and awed at their incomparable generosity. Thanks to the wonderful network of nannies, we were able to gather a large donations for Cradles to Crayons, a very deserving charity in the Philadelphia area. 

Cradles to Crayons works in the community to help provide children with the essentials they will need to feel safe, warm, ready to learn and valued. We feel their mission is incredibly important year-round, but especially during the holidays. For more information, visit http://cradlestocrayons.org/ . The Philadelphia Nanny Network will also being accepting donations at our office until next Wednesday, December 14, 2011.

Again, thank you to all of our nannies for your hard work all year and for your continued kindness, both of which inspire us!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Common Phenomenon Landing Toddlers in Burn Centers Nationwide

Today’s Morning Edition on NPR (National Public Radio) featured a very interesting topic—severe burns that are landing toddlers in burn units all across the nation. Some burn units see as many as 5-6 youth patients per week with this particular injury. And what is the cause?

Cup of Noodles.

Yes, eight out of twelve burn units reported that this is a “common phenomenon” and that they see this particular injury multiple times per week, especially during the colder months.  The design of the cup is what makes the soup particularly dangerous. “The cups are tall, lightweight, and have an unstable base that makes them tip over easily.” Additionally, any noodle soup has been called “strangely perfect” for resulting in serious burns. The noodles are sticky, which makes them cling to skin and causes a deep burn, especially when compared to hot liquids alone. These burns can result in in permanent scarring and/or joint problems, such as limited mobility.

They refer to all the hot noodle soups that are prepared in the store-bought package where you just add boiling water as “Cup of Noodles” but the brand Nissan “Cup Noodles” is one of the worst designs. The doctors interviewed said that a small child hits the lightweight cup at an angle that tips in over spilling on their torso, legs and in their lap.

If you do choose to serve your child any sort of instant soup made in the store bought packaging, please be certain to remove from the original container and place the soup in a bowl. Also, be certain to watch your child carefully if they’re eating any type of noodle soup. Take action against preventable injuries. The Philadelphia Nanny Network encourages you to stay up to date with safety studies and product recalls that are pertinent to your charge’s well-being, health and safety.

For more information, you can access the full article , Why Burn Doctors Hate Instant Soup. 

A Must Read for Anyone Hiring Child Care Online

Just how reliable are online background checks? Not Very.

We have told our children time and again, not to talk to strangers on the internet. So why is it that so many parents are meeting strangers on the internet, and leaving their children in the care of these strangers?

In light of recent events, the online background checks run through many online websites, such as sittercity.com, are coming under fire and rightfully so. What are these recent events? A 19-year old man is in police custody on suspicion of sexual intercourse with a child under the age of 10 years. The boy is eight to be exact, and Jordan Liu had been caring for him for the past eight months. Detectives have also been investigating allegations that Liu sexually assaulted the victim’s three year old brother. The parents found Liu on sittercity.com, a site that completes “background checks” on member caregivers. Liu also had a care.com account. And why are online background checks coming under fire? Online background checks are database searches.  They may not show any misdemeanors the candidate has on record. And they offer no further personal screening. Parents who haven’t been trained or experienced in interviewing and reference checking may end up with a false sense of security about the extent of their knowledge about a caregiver found on a website.

Every candidate presented to families by The Philadelphia Nanny Network has gone through in-house screening, in-depth interviewing and extensive reference checking; and no third parties are used. They have also been cleared by a private security firm that conducts a criminal check, a driving check, a credit check and social security number verification. They have been checked against the US Justice Department Sex Offender Registry. And finally, PA residents have passed a PA Child Abuse Clearance.

We do recognize that families use many different resources to find nannies, sitters and other domestic employees, but we cannot express enough how important it is to rigorously check the backgrounds of these individuals. If you are employing on your own, we urge you to use our expertise! Call us for a Candidate Check Package or a Basic Security Check. Please remember you cannot always trust individuals you meet on the internet. For more information on why this is so important, please read the full article here; and please read the developing story of the string of Craig’s List murders spree that has taken place in Ohio here.

A Teacher Forcing Kids to Sit Down & Shut Up at School! A Despicable Result!

Back in mid-October, a Clay County, North Carolina Music Teacher, Lindsey Cope, tied a first grade student to a chair and taped the child’s mouth shut. Additional claims that she slapped the student are not being confirmed by investigators. She later instructed the other first graders to say nothing about the incident. Thankfully, the children did tell their parents about the incident, and they in turn reported it to the school. On October 26^th, Cope was suspended with pay! Yesterday, it was announced that Cope will face no criminal charges for her actions, as she was not in violation of any North Carolina laws. Furthermore, the parents of the child have asked that no charges be filed.

We all know how trying young children can be at times; but as a good caregiver or parent, we control emotions so that actions or reactions are not carried to the extreme. This teacher, unable to control herself, grossly abused her power and the faith the students, parents and school placed in her. She most likely frightened many of the young children creating issues with trusting other teachers and feeling comfortable going to school. Though the family is probably eager to put this all behind them by not pressing charges, it is hard to accept that these actions will go unpunished. And to think, the teacher continued to receive pay from taxpayers coffers. Moreover, it is horrifying to think this incident could potentially be setting a precedent for both acceptable behavior from teachers and the acceptable treatment of children.We hope that the parents in this community in NC will start a grassroots effort to figure out a way to make this sort of treatment of children as illegal and unacceptable.

Teaching the Holiday Spirit

As the Holiday season begins, one of the biggest challenges that face parents and nannies alike, is teaching children the true spirit of the holidays. There are many ways to remind them that the holidays are about giving, spending time with loved ones and appreciation of what they have; rather than receiving presents.

·         Let the kids help the less fortunate

o   Help them organize some of their gently used, outgrown clothes or old toys to give to charity and explain to them that by doing this, they are helping other boys and girls have a happy holiday season!

o   Some of our favorite charities in the Philadelphia area include:

-  Cradles to Crayons: http://cradlestocrayons.org/philadelphia

-  Toys for Tots: http://philadelphia-pa.toysfortots.org/local-coordinator-sites/lco-sites/default.asp

-  The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP): http://www.chop.edu/service/child-life-education-and-creative-arts-therapy/donations/toy-donations.html

·         Have a homemade holiday

o   Create arts & crafts projects to make the holiday decorations at home, the kids will be proud to show off their creations to holiday visitors

o   Create your very own “secret recipe” along with the kids, for cookies or other holiday treats. This special recipe will give the kids something to look forward to doing year after year.

o   Encourage homemade gifts. Remind the kids that things they make will always be more special than anything that can be bought.

·         Pick the right movies and songs

o   Many holiday movies and songs teach very positive messages about peace, love and helping others, make sure these are the kind your kids are exposed to.

And remember, if you need a sitter for the kids while you do some holiday shopping or attend a holiday party, call us at 610.645.6550 or visit nannyagency.com for more information.  For our caregivers, if you have extra time open during the holiday season and want to work temp jobs, let us know your availability!