The End to Bullying Starts At Home

TPNN recently held our regular Nanny Get Together and was honored to have Daniela Redpath, Vice President of Teach Anti-Bulling, Inc. speak to us about recognizing the signs of bullying and how to get involved to stop the vicious cycle. Redpath, along with President and Founder, Dr. Claudio Cerullo, formed the non-profit organization in late 2011. After watching her son, who suffers from Asperger’s, be a victim of bullying in his younger years, Redpath decided to change her career paths and help families in need. Their goal was help children and families who have been, or are currently, affected by bullying.

            Teach Anti-Bullying, Inc. goes into the community and local schools to raise awareness about bullying. They stress that if the lines of communication are not open at home, they will not be applied in the classroom. It is the parents’ and caregivers’ job to get involved. Redpath emphasized that children need two things, empowerment and conviction. During the younger years, children need to know that parents cannot solve all of their problems. They need to be able to express their emotions when they feel they are a victim of bullying, in a non-violent manner, and then have a conversation with an adult about how they handled the situation. For the kids doing the bullying, they have to be taught at a young age that their behavior is unacceptable.

            As children get older, parents and caregivers need to become more involved, clarify the lines of respect and disrespect, and notice for changes in behavior. Children usually do not tell an authority figure when they are being bullied because of fear of retribution. It is up to the adults in their lives to notice changes. This includes teachers because 33% of children in grades third through fifth admitted that bullying happens in the classroom with the teacher present. Some signs of bullying may include ripped clothes, odd attire, missing items, lack of interest in school, circle of friends changing, method of transportation changing, grades drastically suffering, nightmares, or sleep trouble.

            Signs of bullying are usually mirrored in home behaviors. Respectful children are less likely to be school bullies. Disrespectful, rude, violent, or out of control kids are usually the same at home and at school. When kids arrive home, parents and caregivers need to ask questions. Ask what happened at school, who did they eat lunch with, how was the school bus ride, and who did you sit next to? Willingness to share this type of information opens the lines of communications. Adults also should be aware that girls tend to use cyber bullying, the newest form of bullying, more frequently with 51% of girls cyber bullying as opposed to 37% of boys.

            Parents and caregivers are responsible for noticing the signs of a bullied child or a child doing the bullying. The age of suicide because of bullying or tormenting has gotten younger. Children with low self-esteem become adults with low self-esteem and child bullies become adult bullies. All children have to be taught empathy, compassion, and respect. Just as Redpath stressed, children have to be taught empowerment from a young age. A little courage can go a long way and Redpath said it best with the advice she gave her son to make him feel special and confident when he was a victim of bullying, “You’re not disabled, you’re differently abled.”

Visit: www.teachantibullying.com

Turn Play Time Into Play Dates!

Nannies add a spark in the home. The one-on-one care they provide to children makes for great self-esteem boosters. Children experience individual learning. While the one-on-one care is great for child development, it is important for children to have social interaction as well. Play dates are great ways for caregivers to remain involved while helping children interact with others.

            In play dates, nannies can teach children how to interact emotionally and socially. They guide them to learn how relationships function in the form of friendships. Playing with other children provide the environment to learn how to share and compromise. Play dates are also strong antidotes to bullying. They provide the venue to introduce kids to the concept of accepting others.

            Children learn how to be polite and respectful during play dates. They’re able to learn to collaborate and cooperate with other kids and caregivers. Successful play dates are planned play dates. Forcing children to overplay may lead to restlessness depending on age. Allow them to “free” play for 60-90 minutes, maybe followed by a structured activity where everyone participates. By the end of the play date, children will have had adequate social interaction for the day and be ready to transition back into a one-on-one atmosphere.

            Play dates are easy activities for nannies to plan. They can be held in the house, park, a local gym, or Mommy and Me class. As part of the nanny’s responsibility, she should first be certain the parents are consulted about to whose home children are taken, or who may be coming into their home. Secondly, relay details about the play date back to the parents. Nannies can share how the kids interacted with others, how they respond in a group, and what sort of games they like the most. While the individual care and one-on-one playtime children receive at home is great for developmental growth, play dates help prepare children for the transition into the longer days of being with other children when they eventually enter school.

How To Stop A Bully.

Make a difference.

It’s a phrase that’s thrown around a lot. People vow to do it. People encourage others to do it. But what is it that can really “make a difference”?

Well according to a nationwide petition, signed by everyone from Johnny Depp & Meryl Streep to 37,450 Facebook users, the soon-to-be-released documentary, “Bully”, may be just the ticket.

“Bully” is a documentary that features three pre-teens/teens that are suffering through verbal and physical bullying, as well as the parents of two boys who committed bullying-related suicides. The documentary, distributed by The Weinstein Group with a release date of March 30, 2012, is a part of the larger “The Bully Project”.  It was written & produced by Lee Hirsch & Cynthia Lowen and directed by Lee Hirsch. It is meant to educate and prevent future bullying. However, as a result of an abundance of crass language, the film has been given an “R” rating. This bars its intended audience from seeing the documentary that was made to both help and educate them.

Many people are upset by this rating and a petition has even been started to lower the rating from “R” to “PG-13”. The petition has 437,832 signatures (as of noon on 3/20/12) and many petitioners even suggest the film should be required for viewing in Middle Schools and High Schools.

While reducing violence and bullying in our schools needs to be a national priority, is there a cost associated as well? Is it not also important to protect children from things like language, violence and self-harm if they are not being exposed to such issues in their own schools?  Is 11-years old too young to introduce topics such as suicide and sexuality?

In your opinion, should this documentary called “Bully” be given a PG-13 rating?

No Name-Calling Week- January 23-27, 2012

We often find ourselves saying to children “use your words” in place of using physical responses to situations.  But the flip side is that words can hurt.

This week, January 23-27, 2012, many schools and after-school programs are taking part in the “No Name-Calling Week Project.” The idea was spawned from the James Howe young-adult novel “The Misfits”, in which five 7^th grade students develop a “No Name-Calling Day” at their school. The thrust of the project is to “focus national attention on the problem on name calling in schools, and to provide students and educators with the tools and inspiration to launch on-going dialogue about ways to eliminate name-calling in their communities.” No-Name Calling Week has now developed into a coalition that includes partners, sponsors, supporters and allies, including some of the largest corporations in the nation.

Is your school participating in No Name-Calling Week? According to children’s reports of bullying and name calling in the school, should they be? Bullying and name calling continue to be a large problem affecting our youth, even as education about the effects continues to grow. Click here for more information, including free lesson plans designed for elementary school, middle school, high school and art classes.  Maybe nannies and parents can find ideas to use in the course of your daily time with children.