Let Girls Play

Have you ever wondered why it’s okay for girls to be sensitive? Are they born that way, or do they develop the trait as a result of the way they are treated as infants or young children? After coming across an article written by a frustrated mother who raised her daughter in a male-dominated neighborhood, the question was raised. Growing up, her daughter often played alone without female companionship. One might agree that there is a correlation between a girl’s sensitivity and how she was treated, relative to playmates, during her formative years.

            If there are three toddlers on the floor playing and they begin to play rough, even if they are laughing and giggling, the boys will be told not to be so rough with the girl. Although the girl was clearly enjoying herself, according to society norms, rough play is not “appropriate behavior.” Chances are, parents are fearful of the children “rough-housing” and the girl eventually getting hurt. When boys pull out their army trucks and toy guns, why do we take those away from a little girl and give her a Barbie doll? While those toys are not harmful, many think it seems more suitable for a girl to play with something less violent and more gentler.

            Once that little girl reaches her school-aged years and wants to play sports, her choices will be different from that of her counterpart. Even if she wants to tackle or wrestle, rarely will a school allow a girl on the football or wrestling team in fear that she will get injured. If she wants to get dirty, she can always play softball, but it will be different than boy’s baseball. The ball will be softer, the game will be shorter, and the ball will be thrown differently so she does not strain her arm. Basketball will also hold the same double standard. Fouls will be called differently and certain moves will be prohibited. If she is just as capable as her male counterpart, why must she play by a different set of rules?

            The double standard for how girls and boys behave will follow her as she continues to mature. When school years begin to wind down and college approaches, it is assumed she will choose a career “suitable” for a woman, but if she picks an officer, firefighter, doctor, lawyer, or engineer, she will have to work twice as hard to prove herself in a male-dominated field.

            Sadly, it continues that, women doing the same job as a man gets paid less, leaving women’s rights a critical point in politics today. The number of women CEOs compared to men is 1 in every 20. The question remains, does knowing the odds are against her, affect her career choices? Although too young to remember, she has been manipulated because of her gender since she was playing on the playground. Would things be different if society would just “let girls play?”

Idea From:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lyz-lenz/gender-discrimination_b_1987291.html?utm_hp_ref=parents-toddlers

New Year’s Resolutions- Helpful or Hindrance?

As we said goodbye to 2012 and hello to 2013, many of us focused on our annual New Year’s resolutions. Whether it’s loosing those extra ten pounds or being a more positive person, resolutions give people hope that the next year will be better than the last. Frequently, resolutions last for the first half of the year. Comfort and acceptance of our flaws yield to vowing this will be the last year of imperfection.

            According to The Journal of Clinical Psychology, less than ten percent of the population reach their goal for the new year. Upon encountering hardship, almost forty percent never make their goal. The remaining attempters strive for a goal that they will partially reach, struggling to stick to it a little longer, but just never get there.

            The five most common New Year’s resolutions are losing weight, saving money, quitting smoking, finding love, and getting organized. Now why do most of these resolutions fail to succeed? Majority of people never accomplish their goals for two reasons, 1. We try to stop “cold turkey” and 2. We set limits on everything all at the same time. A better chance for success involves tossing strict restraints out of the window. Here are some helpful tips to help make it into that ten percent:

Losing Weight- Don’t set a limit on how much weight you want to loose nor set a specific date. Diets mean that they will eventually end when you reach your target weight, often time causing you to regain the lost weight. Why not make eating healthier foods and exercising 3-4 days per week a lifestyle habit? The weight will eventually fall, and stay, off.

   Saving Money- Instead of depriving yourself of something you enjoy, such as that weekly restaurant date or family outing, get rid of something that you don’t need. For instance, do you need every premium channel on cable that costs an extra $50 per month?

  Quit Smoking- Don’t just wait until January 1^st and say that you’ll quit smoking forever. If you quit “cold turkey”, it’s challenging to make that work. Try to slowly cut back from a pack a day, to a half a pack, to a few, to one, then let them fad away.

   Finding Love- You can’t say, “I going to fall in love this year.” Love will show up when you least expect it. Just be patient.

     Getting Organized- If your life is cluttered from school, work, home, or kids, slowly get everything in order. Buy a planner. Write down activities, dinners, play dates, etc. Take a weekend once a month and get things organized in the house. Take baby steps, not large leaps.

When making a resolution, keep in mind that change doesn’t happen overnight. Resolutions take time, effort, and much patience. If you’re not ready to hit a few stumbling blocks, you may not achieve your ultimate goal, so expect to hit a setback or two, all the while keeping your eye on the goal. Remember that the original point of a resolution was to better yourself over time, not create a short term goal to change an imperfection. Devise a plan to change your lifestyle and maintain the goal once reached. This may even take more than one year, but could last a lifetime.

“What Has Technology Done To Us?

Have you ever had that moment when the message tone on your phone goes off and you wonder, “How am I going to take the phone out of my toddler’s hand?” Many parents are asking that question multiple times throughout the day. We now live in a society where technology allows us to have everything at our fingertips. Instead of going out to buy books to read or hundreds of toys to play with, something so simple as an iPhone or iPad can bring all of those things to the living room, the car, and even the doctor’s office. Everything is available via portable device.  IPhones and other various smart phones come equipped with apps ranging from television shows, to pictures, interactive activities, and sound games. It seems more logical to have children learn via a device, though, while all of these advances are making our lives more accessible, what is the impact on kids who know them as the only available source of entertainment?

          The more helpful technology becomes to us, the more addicted the next generation will become. Every time a new phone, tablet, or iPad is released, we take away one more intrapersonal moment. A key factor in healthy childhood development is social interaction. If a child is regularly attached to a device, they limit the time they spend interacting with others and learning through imitation. While these may seem like minor details at the toddler stage, as time marches on, will the next generation understand the importance of hardback books, paper magazines, or talking verbally?

            Medically, apparently these behaviors can lead to issues down the line. Every adult who grew up with a T.V. was told that if they sit too close to the television, they will ruin their eyes. Same is true of phones and tablets. With the screens usually no further than one foot away from the eye, technology can be damaging to the youthful eye. I wonder if the fact that more children than ever are wearing glasses is a result. The time children spend indoors on different technological devices, when they could be outside running, jumping, climbing, and doing something better for their health is another consideration. Inactive children possess a higher risk of becoming obese than children who are consistently physically active.

            There is no doubt why children are addicted to technology. It’s because, as adults, we are. Technology flew in on its broom and gave us time. Instead of typing a paper, we can now speak into a device and our words appear on the screen, allowing us to multitask. The age of who gets a gift of an iPad, tablet, or laptop has become younger and younger. While there are pros and cons, think about the balance. For every hour a child stays mesmerized on their device, that’s less outdoor play they may enjoy or even one more friend they never get the opportunity to make at the park that day. 

Idea From:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/07/kids-and-phones-smartphones-child_n_2079105.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

Who Speaks? Autism Speaks.

Just as their young child is beginning to walk and function by themselves, one of the most trying experiences for a parent is to be told is that their child may be on the autism spectrum.  Unfortunately, more parents are hearing those harsh words.  One in every 88 children in the US is diagnosed as being on the spectrum for autism. What does being on the spectrum mean? Autism Speaks defines it as, “having exceptional abilities in visual skills, music and academic skills. About 40 percent have intellectual disability (IQ less than 70), and many have normal to above average intelligence. Indeed, many persons on the spectrum take deserved pride in their distinctive abilities and “atypical” ways of viewing the world. Others with autism have significant disability and are unable to live independently. About 25 percent of individuals with ASD are nonverbal but can learn to communicate using other means.”

Autism affects more children in the US than Diabetes, AIDS, Cancer, Cerebral Palsy, Cystic Fibrosis, Muscular Dystrophy, and Down Syndrome combined.

            Autism can be diagnosed as early as 18-24 months. Once a child is diagnosed, many parents must realize that their child may have to go to extreme measures to live a somewhat normal life compared to other children. This is modeled in a new book by autistic teen, Trevor Pacelli, titled Growing Up Autistic: 100 Lessons To Understand How Autistic People See Life. In his book, Pacelli explains what it is like growing up autistic, being diagnosed at 5 years old, and how people can better understand what goes on inside the mind of a person on the spectrum. Within the book, Pacelli shares 10 things people should know about autistic children and teens and how they think: 

1.      They get either A’s or F’s
2.      Nobody on earth thinks like them.
3.      Time alone vs. time with others
4.      Some actually prefer to be alone
5.      Balance solo activities with parental interaction
6.      They also want to go out
7.      They need to vent their problems
8.      Getting out of the home helps with social skills
9.      Everyone needs to be socially active
10.  Some can have mood swings

While many parents and caregivers may not understand how the autistic brain functions, the fact that autism affects hundreds of thousands of children in this country is reason enough why we need to be educated. Understanding how this abnormal brain functions, is the first step in finding a cure so that it can function normally. Listen to how autism speaks.

http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/faq

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/23/growing-up-autistic-teen-_n_2005778.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

Is 5 Years Old Too Young For An Addiction?

Most working adults will tell you that if they start their day without coffee, it will inevitably be tiresome, slow, and less productive as a morning with Folgers in their cup. Now, what if someone told you that a five year old was having that same reaction? Could someone that young be addicted to caffeine? Recent studies are showing that children are becoming addicted to caffeine as young as five, not because of coffee, but because of everything that comes cold and thirst quenching.  And, the frequency in which they consume these beverages adds to the problem.  Here are just a few things children are drinking that have their caffeine adrenalin soaring through their little young bodies:

• ·         Arizona Green Tea Energy ® 200 mg equivalent to 4 Cokes
• ·         Orange Soda ® Filled with acid & one 12 ounce contains 41 mg of caffeine
• ·         Mountain Dew ® Has 55 mg of caffeine
• ·         Pepsi ® Contains 38 mg of caffeine/ 54 mg for Pepsi ONE

With the average suggested caffeine intake at fewer than 200 mg per day, most people surpass this number based on the size of their cup. If you think that switching your soda with a diet version will make it better, THINK AGAIN! When companies remove sugar, they add more substitute sweeteners, therefore, enhancing the amount of caffeine. With sodas, sports drinks, teas, and energy boosters present in many homes across America, children have more accessibility to this “drug” than ever before (if it can cause an addiction, yes, it is a drug).

            Are you now wondering what the caffeine is really doing to these young bodies? Caffeine is a stimulant. It is used to boost endorphins within the body for a short amount of time by speeding up the heart rate and releasing energy. The problem with caffeine is that, when the heart rate is increased and then drops, it weakens the heart. Just think, a child’s heart is far less developed than that of an adult; therefore, their heart is being damaged before it reaches its full potential. Enhanced heart rates can lead to heart attack or stroke. When the body is on caffeine, it makes it harder to sleep. In children, since their body does not absorb caffeine as quickly as an adult, it stays in their system longer and makes it harder for them to go to sleep, disrupting their sleep pattern.

            In recent news, a Maryland family has filed a lawsuit against Monster, an energy drink company, after their 14 year old daughter drank two cans in a 24hr period and went into cardiac arrest. This is just one of five cases being investigated throughout the country in which young people have suffered extreme heart conditions after drinking these energy boosters.

            With stories such as these in the news, parents are pushing for energy drinks and soft drink companies to place disclaimers on their products, warning of caffeine amounts and possible dangers. Should companies place a disclaimer on these products, or should parents take away the caffeinated drinks and hand over a bottle of water? What is your child having with their dinner tonight?

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/childrens-health/articles/2010/12/16/kids-are-getting-amped-on-caffeine-even-at-age-5

Is It Worth Your Life

As the Public Service Announcement broadcasted, millions of viewers watched a grieving sister who held up a sign saying, “R U...” That was the last text message she sent to her younger sister, Ashley.  Instead of waiting until she arrived at her destination safely, Ashley made a choice to read the incoming message while driving. At the “R U…”, Ashley’s car ran off the road.  She was killed upon impact.

Tragedies, such as Ashley’s, prompted AT&T to launch a national Public Service Announcement (PSA) campaign titled, It Can Wait as a pledge to save lives.  Found on online, or posted on social networking pages, this oath can be taken as a commitment  not to text, talk or focus on the phone while driving.

According to AT&T, people who text while driving, are 23 times more likely to be involved in, or cause a crash.  Michael Headen, a business management major at Holy Family University, felt the effects of texting while driving.  He was run off the road by a young driver on the phone who ran through a red light.  “I refuse to text and drive because I know that no text message or phone call is worth my life. Knowing that I could injure myself, or end someone else’s life, just because of a message, would make it hard for me to look at myself in the mirror,” said Headen, who advocates against texting while driving.  “Summer months, due to the absence of school days and newly vacationing families, are the most dangerous months of the year,” a quote stated on the AT&T website. Some states have now banned texting and talking while driving with laws.  In NJ the laws fall under the same category as drunk driving.

According to the Governors Highway Safety Administration, 10 states banned talking while driving, and 39 states banned texting while driving.  Neglecting these laws will result in a fine. “Although I know it’s wrong, we are so consumed with our everyday life that we feel as if we don’t access to our cell phones while driving, we’re missing something,” said Immaculata University senior Allison Zbrowski. Zbrowski admitted that, while the possibility of an accident does scare her, putting down the phone is difficult because cell phones serve multiple functions.

Cell phone companies have made putting the phone down an oxymoron.  Phones are now "smart" and used not only for communicating but also to find a direction to a destination or to get the latest sports scores or to play a game with a friend 1000 miles away.  AT&T launched an experiment using simulated texting drivers.  Drivers were asked to respond to a flashing light while texting.  A majority of the participants never noticed the flashing light because they were consumed by texting.  “When I text and drive, I notice what’s right in front of me. Anything else is usually out of my view,” said Brittney Wilson, a senior psychology student from Indiana University of Pennsylvania.  Texting and driving is familiar to Wilson, who admitted she caused a fender bender while on her phone a year ago.

“In 2010, texting while driving increased 50 percent in one year, and two out of 10 drivers say they've sent text messages or emails while behind the wheel, despite a rush by states to ban the practice,” noted in a statement released by AT&T at the beginning of their campaign.  By the end of 2012, AT&T will have been to more than 200 cities convincing drivers, especially young drivers, It Can Wait.  AT&T’s campaign is determined to reach everyone in their outreach.  Aside from touring, they have released multiple PSA showing the effects of texting while driving. All of these tragedies could have been prevented by doing one thing.  Take the pledge and put the phone down. IT CAN WAIT!
Written by Porsha Haynes, Senior, Holy Family University

The Voice

A bully is generally defined as a person who is habitually cruel to others who are weaker.  Unfortunately, kids of all ages are exposed to this type of behavior.  Bullying can start as the most simple of actions, from a sting in the lunch room or playground that can paint a child as a weaker person.   However, it can become as serious as continued physical and emotional abuse.  There is no limit to the damage a bully can cause another child.  In this day of technology, there can be no reprieve from a bully, and a child can be reached on the bus, school ground and even in the comfort of their own home.  Where and when does it end? 

We offer this one approach to try and end it before it before it can even begin.  As  parents and caregivers, we cannot control the actions of other children.  What we can do, is teach our children to be strong and listen to the voice inside of them.  To speak up when they know something is not right, takes the weaker person out the definition.  As parents and caregivers , we know how frightening it can be to send children out into the world and let them stand on their own two feet.  It is difficult in the best of situations, let alone when we know there is someone being unkind.  However, no matter the circumstances, we still need to teach our children to be confident on their own, because frightening or not, we cannot be there every step of the way.  One of the few things worse than knowing someone is being mean to a child you love, is knowing they have no idea how to defend themselves, or worse yet, thinking he/she is not worth defending. The best way  to stand up for children is to teach them how and, and why to stand up for themselves.

What is an inner voice?  Well, to use the words of children's author Shel Silverstein...

“The Voice

There is a voice inside of you

That whispers all day long,

"I feel this is right for me,

I know that this is wrong."

No teacher, preacher, parent, friend

Or wise man can decide

What's right for you--just listen to

The voice that speaks inside.”

Here are three suggestions from TPNN for parents and caregivers to help teach children to hear and listen to their inner voice:

1. Communicate with your children.  Talk with your child about what happens during their days at school. Ask your children about bullying? Opening up the conversation with your child will let them know you are supportive and that what they have to say is important. 
2. Lead by example.  Check behavior at home and demonstrate respect for all people.  Children will follow the behavior patterns of parents and caregivers, and will show and demand the same respect they see at home.
3. Teach your child compassion, caring and confidence.  And if or when the time comes, you will support them.  Teach your child to come to you when they need help.

Has your family, or someone you know been impacted by a bully?  Share your story here and maybe help another family or child overcome their battle.