How to Talk to Your Kids about Tragedy

The aftermath of Sandy Hook, the Colorado movie theater massacre, and Hurricane Sandy devastation has left parents nationwide hugging their children a little tighter and keeping a closer eye on their daily activities. When tragedies occur, how do parents explain abstruse situations to innocent children? Begin by finding out what they already know. Never assume they know all details. Launching into unnecessary detail may cause information to be shared. Children are only as innocent as what they know. Once their perception is established, ask an open-ended follow up question. Your questions allow the transfer of sadness, inquiries, fears, and angers.

         With children, the more lucid the explanation, the easier it is for everyone. Analogies are a great form of communication for young children. Relate the occurring tragedy to situations they encounter every day. Children should be informed about their surroundings, never fear them. Acknowledge which emotion they are harboring and reassure them that they are secure with you. Children need to know that they have safe places where no harm can come their way. While most people assumed that schools were that safe place, recent tragedies have proved that parents must provide children with emergency thinking skills. In case of emergency, they need to know who to contact, where to go, and that someone is there to protect them.   

         Watching the news with your child gives allowance for age appropriate dialog. The older they become, the more detailed the conversation will be. In today’s world, the most important thing a parent can do is hold their child one second longer and tell them they love them one extra time per day.

Who Speaks? Autism Speaks.

Just as their young child is beginning to walk and function by themselves, one of the most trying experiences for a parent is to be told is that their child may be on the autism spectrum.  Unfortunately, more parents are hearing those harsh words.  One in every 88 children in the US is diagnosed as being on the spectrum for autism. What does being on the spectrum mean? Autism Speaks defines it as, “having exceptional abilities in visual skills, music and academic skills. About 40 percent have intellectual disability (IQ less than 70), and many have normal to above average intelligence. Indeed, many persons on the spectrum take deserved pride in their distinctive abilities and “atypical” ways of viewing the world. Others with autism have significant disability and are unable to live independently. About 25 percent of individuals with ASD are nonverbal but can learn to communicate using other means.”

Autism affects more children in the US than Diabetes, AIDS, Cancer, Cerebral Palsy, Cystic Fibrosis, Muscular Dystrophy, and Down Syndrome combined.

            Autism can be diagnosed as early as 18-24 months. Once a child is diagnosed, many parents must realize that their child may have to go to extreme measures to live a somewhat normal life compared to other children. This is modeled in a new book by autistic teen, Trevor Pacelli, titled Growing Up Autistic: 100 Lessons To Understand How Autistic People See Life. In his book, Pacelli explains what it is like growing up autistic, being diagnosed at 5 years old, and how people can better understand what goes on inside the mind of a person on the spectrum. Within the book, Pacelli shares 10 things people should know about autistic children and teens and how they think: 

1.      They get either A’s or F’s
2.      Nobody on earth thinks like them.
3.      Time alone vs. time with others
4.      Some actually prefer to be alone
5.      Balance solo activities with parental interaction
6.      They also want to go out
7.      They need to vent their problems
8.      Getting out of the home helps with social skills
9.      Everyone needs to be socially active
10.  Some can have mood swings

While many parents and caregivers may not understand how the autistic brain functions, the fact that autism affects hundreds of thousands of children in this country is reason enough why we need to be educated. Understanding how this abnormal brain functions, is the first step in finding a cure so that it can function normally. Listen to how autism speaks.

http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/faq

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/23/growing-up-autistic-teen-_n_2005778.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents