Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Voice


A bully is generally defined as a person who is habitually cruel to others who are weaker.  Unfortunately, kids of all ages are exposed to this type of behavior.  Bullying can start as the most simple of actions, from a sting in the lunch room or playground that can paint a child as a weaker person.   However, it can become as serious as continued physical and emotional abuse.  There is no limit to the damage a bully can cause another child.  In this day of technology, there can be no reprieve from a bully, and a child can be reached on the bus, school ground and even in the comfort of their own home.  Where and when does it end? 

We offer this one approach to try and end it before it before it can even begin.  As  parents and caregivers, we cannot control the actions of other children.  What we can do, is teach our children to be strong and listen to the voice inside of them.  To speak up when they know something is not right, takes the weaker person out the definition.  As parents and caregivers , we know how frightening it can be to send children out into the world and let them stand on their own two feet.  It is difficult in the best of situations, let alone when we know there is someone being unkind.  However, no matter the circumstances, we still need to teach our children to be confident on their own, because frightening or not, we cannot be there every step of the way.  One of the few things worse than knowing someone is being mean to a child you love, is knowing they have no idea how to defend themselves, or worse yet, thinking he/she is not worth defending. The best way  to stand up for children is to teach them how and, and why to stand up for themselves.

What is an inner voice?  Well, to use the words of children's author Shel Silverstein...

The Voice
There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
"I feel this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong."
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What's right for you--just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.”

Here are three suggestions from TPNN for parents and caregivers to help teach children to hear and listen to their inner voice:
  1. Communicate with your children.  Talk with your child about what happens during their days at school. Ask your children about bullying? Opening up the conversation with your child will let them know you are supportive and that what they have to say is important. 
  2. Lead by example.  Check behavior at home and demonstrate respect for all people.  Children will follow the behavior patterns of parents and caregivers, and will show and demand the same respect they see at home.
  3. Teach your child compassion, caring and confidence.  And if or when the time comes, you will support them.  Teach your child to come to you when they need help.
Has your family, or someone you know been impacted by a bully?  Share your story here and maybe help another family or child overcome their battle.